*sigh...so many things is happening....i feel so petrified that more and more things will happen without any reason....these two days--yesterday and today-- my dad is in a very bad mood...his always showing black face to my mum...when my mum have been through enough actually!! yesterday they fought...i was in school at that time...my dad scolded my mom so terribly---sigh---its complicated...and today...he just scolded my grandma in a blue moon!!! pity my granny!! no one understands him....he just scold everyone and no one knows wad to do!! even my sister and I wanted to go out to buy a presant and other things...we had to borrow his car to go...obviously as our waja had been stolen long long time ago...but none of us was brave enough to ask his permission...so i was walking up and down again and again asking myself the same question," ask or not ask...dare or not...want to take the risk"...something like that...but i prayed and God gave me the courage to ask him...we are just like mices frightened by cats...sigh..his just a bigger cat..i'm always very scared when my dad is angry....i really don't understand him at all...i feel like he don't really love me as much as he love bee bee eventhough everyone will say he loves every child equally...but i do feel that because he always act differently towards me...whatever i say he will just say back at me in this tone of angerness... i really don't know him anymore....since the thing happen till now...my relationship with my dad is just so so different...his a very mysterious man!!! not only my dad was in a bad mood...i also got scolded by my mom...i confess to her about my camera because i felt uncomfortable lieing to her...she said that is not her problem so she wouldn't repair it for me and that i have to ask elaine to repair it...she even called her...and some other things...wells...it's so scary when my parents is angry...because now is only me at home....all my siblings is studying in overseas but luckily when all the things that had happen, my sister is back at home with me...THANK GOD!! haha....that's not the only comotion....when we came back from dinner...my kakak was sitting on the stairs and when i saw her i thought it was a ghost...haha eventhough i don't believe in ghost but with her long hair it really looks like pontianak...haha wells but that is not the comotion...she told us..."Lilo hilang!"(lilo is my dog)and that time i was so petrified...my heart beat quite fast haha and my thoughts just said" oh no...my best friend is gone!!" welll when i'm sad, i do play and talk to her...so when she was missing we all went to look for her...shouted her name...but no result...then my mum kept saying she will come nack so just go up...and we didn't hear but in the end we did what she said and i went to look for her in the house...in case she might ran in the house...so i search my mum's room but still nothing...then i almost gave up but there was someone telling me ,"don't give up...go on" so i opened my brother's room door and shouted Lilo in the dark...and you know what....Lilo was running out the room....and i was so happy....really happy...i derno wad it will be like without her in the house haha...that someone was God...and God was telling my mum to go up too...haha..PRAISE THE LORD!...today is a tough day....hope tommorow will be a great day as it is Father's Day!!welll you'll see tommorow...